The Bandicoot Lodge carries on a proud tradition in human behaviour. Our founding principles can be traced at least to Paleolithic times when hunters, tired of being badgered by gatherers, would sneak around to the bone pile late at night, to gnaw on a few lingering scraps of fermented marsupial and grouse about the demands of a changing society: "These Neolithics today...".
The first known organized Lodge, oddly dubbed Lodge 27, was founded in Chysauster, Cornwall, England sometime about 340 BC. Remains of this enigmatic Iron Age outpost, featured on the BBC in the Fall of 2003, were at first puzzling to archaeologists, who wondered why one thatch-roofed roundhouse was set noticeably apart from the more family-oriented roundhouses within the "hillfort" enclosure. Searching through ashes from the open hearth fire, a pattern emerged. The team pieced together an array of objects associated with domestic strife: broken jewelry, torn divorce decrees and lewd Polaroids. Unlike the other roundhouses in the community, there were no interior postholes to suggests sleeping quarters, but, under the foosball table, there were scores of large antlers carved into drinking horns and encrusted with barley and hops. Cut into the sides of the drinking horns were names or messages such as "Stinky", "Big Ray" and "that bitch". The most amazing pieces of evidence unearthed at the Lodge site, however, and the holy grails of Bandicootdom, were a half dozen almost-matching headdresses made of smaller antlers, mammal ears and faux leopard print rayon. And behind them the word "Bandicoot" was scrawled into the wall. Today that historic section of clay, straw and manure daub, along with all six Iron Age hats, sit in storage, anticipating the eventual opening of a Bandicoot museum.
One of many growth periods for the Lodge came during the early Middle Ages. As the clergy became dominant over European society, the Bandicoots were forced underground, adding "Secret Order" to their names for the first time. Much like the namesake animals, they often burrowed in the ground, seeking places of refuge from the madness. French legend has it that Saint Louis, King Louis IX, founded the secluded lakeside Abbey de Royaumont in 1228 as a haven for Bandicoots disguised as monks. Belying its serene setting, nearby villagers often reported hearing slurred yelling, shattering glassware and loud Seagar music. Bandicoot Lodges proliferated around the globe. There are over 43 known lodges in the area ranging from Southern Texas to Guatemala. Though many are associated with the Aztecs, they apparently stole both concept and buildings from the earlier Mayans, Toltecs, Zapotecs and Texas Techs. The preserved Lodge at Chapultepec is modest, though it sits only a short canoe ride from the lavish Palace of Montezuma. Historians believe that it was spared from destruction by Spaniards who also belonged to Bandicoot posts at home. In fact, one theory about the collapse of the great city is that when Cortez attacked, several Aztec leaders were liquored up at the Lodge, arguing about the previous day's atlatl throwing competition.
